Feeling Blue

What a day.  Today was my dh's stepdads funeral :o(  It was a truly lovely service and very fitting for the man he was, it was perfect.  It breaks my heart to see them all so hurt and upset and there is nothing I can do to make it all better, to ease their pain.  I know this sounds incredibly selfish but it hurts me so much that my dh has gone a million miles away from me.  I feel like I have lost a huge part of him and the rest is slowly slipping away from me too.  We are so distant right now I dont know if we can ever go back :o(  I know IVF puts a strain on couples but at first it started to bring us closer but with everything else that has happened, we have just fallen so far apart.  We have so little in common these days and never seem to have anything to say to each other.  We are no longer a couple and I dont think we will ever be a family :o(  I just want the man I married back xxxx