Tough Times

I really don't want to post this as I'm not a fan of self pittying posts but life is tough right now, it really is. I know I have a lot to actually be grateful for, I have enough money to pay the bills + food on the table, a great husband + reasonably good health given I have endo.The problem is this.....my husband was due to be made redundant this year which would have resulted in very little payout, enough to cover maybe a months wages, not much more, so he accepted a new job...a great opportunity, more money, only it is 75 miles away. we decided he should take the job as there is very little opportunity for his level of job where we live + any job is better than no job + we weren't adversed to relocating. now, he has been diong the new job since Jan,.commuting every day, resulting in over 150 miles every day + over 3 hours travelling due to shocking traffic. 4 months ago we decided to sell the house + relocate, a mammoth task in itself as I would have to find a new job + we would be moving away from family who only live a couple of miles away currently. only, this plan hasn't worked out all that well as we have had very little interest in the house, never mind any offers. my house is lovely + I really can't understand it, other than someone, somewhere really doesn't want us to move!?! my hubby is now staying in a hotel 2 nights a week to try and relieve the pressure, millage + travel,now I miss him so much. I know it sounds crazy, its only 2 nights but I hate it, I really hate it. we haven't spent more than a week apart in 13 years before now + all of a sudden he is away 2 nights every week  :'( I just don't know what to do, the option of him finding another job is impossible as here just aren't any where we currently live, we can't rent the house as the mortgage is too high so we have to sell but there's no buyers out there so until then, is a horrible lonely existenceg for us both  :'( not forgetting of course, we are still dreaming of having a family + the thoughts of our final throw of the ivf dice! Many have life much tougher than me, I am very aware of that + try not to let it get the better of me too much but sometimes, like tonight, when I'm alone, all I can do is cry....

It's been a while

I can't actually believe how long it has been since my last post. Time is going way too fast...... I've actually nothing to report on the IVF front. I still cant face going through another cycle. Maybe one say, but right now the thought of it is too much. I think I want, no, I need counselling but the counsellor at my clinic was rubbish and I can't afford to play for the sessions privately. I went to see a lovely lady who did a free first consultation and discovered there were quite a few issues I needed to work through, particularly around what happened last year with my gran, then my dad, as well as the whole IVF rollercoaster. The problem is e see trying to sell the house and relocate to Warwick for my husbands job... which is a whole other nightmare itself! He is currently commuting a 150 mile round trip every day! It's been incredibly slow with viewings with no sign of any offerswhich 7
I can't understand, my house is bloody lovely and very well priced! I certainly wouldn't have moving if we didn't have to! It's one of the other reasons I'm so reluctant to think about IVF again as we need to save our money to move, which leaves nown for IVF.
I've had renewed hope and fight today after trying since updates on a fellow bloggers IVF journey. I am so incredibly pleased that they have had success, not only that but a potential natural miracle, something I, naively maybe, but something I still hope for...

I'm going to start to post regularly again, maybe this can become my therapy instead.