Heartbroken...again :o(

Well, the phone call came. Wish it hadnt :o(  Its happened again, just with bigger number.  We started with 31, down to 14, only 6 fertilised :o(  Totally heartbroken.  As we cant have one put back now, we dont know how well those 6 will grow and many dont even survive the freeze/thaw process.  The hurt is just as great as last time.  There had to be a compatability issue, thats something we cant change :o(  To make things worse, we cant even have our review appt until Sept as they are losing 2 consultants and new ones dont have appts yet so got to wait forever until we can even discuss what happened and how to approach fet, which I almost feel there is no point as nothing will be good enough to put back anyway :o(
#heartbroken #gutted #seriouslyfuckedoff #:o(

And again it goes wrong...

Well ec was yesterday!  That bit went well, got 31 eggs!  Thats not as good news as it sounds though.  The higher number of eggs, the lower the maturity rate.  We only had 14 that were mature, which is good when you ignore the fact that we had 31 to start with!  The problem with having to many is that the risk of my ohss becoming severe is far too high, so they have cancelled this cycle and will freeze any embies we have today.  Gutted to say the very least but I know it is for the best.  Theres no point having an embie put back if I am too poorly for it to stay on board.  I'm just waiting for that dreaded phone call to say how many have fertilised and so how many we have to freeze...my heart is pounding just thinking of the phone ringing!  I'm just hoping and praying that we have a good number fertilise, otherwise I dont know what we will do :o(  Think positive, think positive!

Seriously terrified now!

Well, finally had the phone call we've been waiting for....I'm ready!  EC is on Wed, hubby's birthday so that will be lovely for him!  Hoping it is a good sign and will bring us luck.  I'm absolutely terrified now its been confirmed.  After everything that happened last time, the thought of those phone calls fill me with absolute dread :o(  I'm just desperately trying to be positive as we have better follies than last time so have everything crossed that we will get more mature eggs and therefore a much better chance of higher fertilisation =  a fabulous chance of a blasto ET and dare I say it even a BFP :-O!!  Ha, I know I'm getting ahead of myself there but I did say I was trying to be positive!

No more tears, must be positive :o) xxx

Nearly There!

Scan again today.  All good with the follies, got about 5/6 that are 17+ and another 5/6 that are 15/16 with lots more that are 10-14 :o)  They have said that hgc will be either tonight or tomorrow night which is fab, I cant wait to start the next stage!  Its seriously scary thinking about what could happen next but its got to be done so lets get on with it!!!

Oh Dear...!

Stimms scan and bloods again today!  All ok but now been put at high level risk of OHSS :o(  I'm in a LOT of pain in ovaries, the poor little things feel like they are fit to burst!  The problem is there are a lot of follies growing in there but just not quite up to scratch yet with their size so just waiting on the phone call this afternoon but will most likely be back on Monday for yet another scan and bloods!  Heres hoping they will be ready by then cause I dont think my body can take much more.  Just hope its all worth it this time!

Time Flies!

Wow, cant believe how quickly things have progressed with this cycle.  Down Reg went well and I'm on day 7 of stimms already!  I had a bit of an emergency scan on day 6 as I was in a lot of pain in my ovaries and was rather scared of OHSS but all was ok with a lining of 9.7 and just a copule of useful follies, 8.5 on my right and 11.5 on my left.  Have got a day 8 scan tomorrow and consents to sign but hoping beyond hope that all will be good tomorrow and we have lots of follies that are progressing nicely.  I'm trying incredibly hard to be positive and take it a day at a time...soooo easier said than done!

Heres to a successful day tomorrow :o) xx

AF already!

Well the pill has done its job again!  CD25 and af has turned up so hopefully will have my dr scan next Fri :o)  Injections are going well so far so hopefully things will continue that way!