Aaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhh

This is getting soooooooo hard :-( yet another friend from school has announced they are pregnant :-( I would never wish this hurt on anyone. It is just so incredibly hard to see everyone else suddenly married + having babies within the year when youve been married 8 years + trying for a baby for 4 years :-( DH really doesn't understand either. He just thinks I'm stupid + totally over reacting when I get upset over hearing their news. I know I'm not unusual in how I feel tho. I know my care girls feel just the same. They understand the pain + heartache I feel. All I want is for that fairytale life everyone else seems to be having. Why does life have to hurt so much? :-(

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Those blasted hormones....

....are driving me mad again :o(  I'm so incredibly up and down, I dont know what to do with myself and I know hubby is finding it really hard to understand.  I can go from feeling happy, grateful for the life I have and positive for the future, so really down, upset, angry and totally negative about everything, all in the space of a day :o(  My hormones just seem to run riot just after ovulation and there is nothing I can do to calm them down.  I just have to try my best to ride it out without anything too drastic being said/done as I know they will calm down after af and I will have a couple of weeks feeling reasonably balanced until it starts all over again.  I just feel so angry sometimes, I could scream until my lungs burst and throw anything to hand, preferably breakable.  It hurts so much that so many people around me are having babies without even thinking about it, which, dont get me wrong, it exactly how it should be, but I cant help but be angry that it isnt the same for me.  That I have to struggle, fight and put myself and dh through round after round of ivf with never any result at the end of all that pain :o(  Life just feels so incredibly unfair sometimes and I dont know how to accept or understand it.