Its time to ride the rollercoaster again. In in a bid to save what is left of my sanity, we have decided to go for our FET. I just need to know which way my life is headed now. One way or another, we really need an outcome so we can move on in which ever direction our life heads. Its exciting, absolutely terrifying and utterly bonkers but I cant wait for the end result, one way or another. Worryingly, I'm almost looking forward to the end of it all more than the result itself?! Probably because I cant really allow myself to think of the result right now. Either way, its going to be incredibly hard. If were successful, theres all the seriously scary times that come with that and if it fails, there is the heartbreak and realisation to deal with also. So for now, I'm just focusing on the fact that we should have a definitive result one way or another. I think if it fails as it did last time then there is very little doubt that my eggs are shot and thats the end of our journey (donor eggs just arent for me). If we get an embie to put back then that may give a glimmer of hope for another IVF in time when we have the strength and cash to pay for it (if we decide to go down this road as it is something I have adamently said will never happen!). Then, being positive, if it works, all is good and we have a whole new rollercoaster to ride :o)
Anyways, thats all weeks away yet. I'm only on day 4 of dr injections. They are being done but I cant say they are going well as each one has been horrible so far. I've no idea why, but I find myself getting anxious before each one this time, which I'm sure wont be helping them go smoothly! I seem to be worse this time than any of the others, which is a bit bizarre as its never bothered me before!?
I'm sure it wont be long before they are all over and its time for those wonderful pessaries us ivf girls love so much!!!
Be happy everyone xxxx
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